Read me

and the worst, is the days where the sun is shining but it still feels overcast
like a cloud looming over my head
big, and puffy, and grey
it won’t rain, it never does, but it leaves me with that impending doom feeling that any second the sky will open up and leave me drowning

the worst, is the days where the sun is shining and i can see it
i squint when i look at it but i don’t look away because the burn reminds me that 
it’s real
even though i can’t feel it
even though it doesn’t feel real to me

the worst, is the days where the sun is shining and all i can think about is building a rocket ship and flying 
flying 
flying 
up 
up 
up
directly towards the goddamn sun
not caring if everything melts if it means i’ll finally feel its warmth
i’m so tired of always feeling so cold
(cc, 2017)
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