Charles Bukowski, my saviour
I started writing in a journal at the age of seven. Looking back there are more spelling mistakes than words on the paper. However, I like to imagine that those first few journals gave me a sense of what I wanted to do with my life. Share. When I was still in Elementary school my teacher encouraged me and the whole class to write poetry. My obsession grew bigger and bigger the more my pen touched the paper. My inspiration and writing skills kept improving, and at the age of thirteen, I started reading poetry in my spare time. Charles Bukowski, are my all-time favorites, Sylvia Plath. Simply by using their words, they had the power to take me away and transport me to another world. I could feel their sadness, anger, love, and happiness. When I felt down, reading and writing poetry kept me sane for the time being.
As of now, it has been around six months since I last wrote a poem. This bothers me every day. Last night I felt the urge to find my Bokowski book, and in there I found a poem that I will take as a sign. This is the poem I found;
“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.”
When I first read this my mind started thinking about all the reasons why I haven't been able, or not wanted to write. Little time, no inspiration, too many experiences while I was living away. I guess these are all valid reasons why I haven't had the power to share, write or take a lot of photos in the past few months. Or as Bukowski would say; Since you didn't want to try, you should not start. The reason I am writing this is so we can take away the stigma that we always have to be doing something. Whether that is creating, working or whatever it is. One is allowed to take a break from their passions without it meaning that you do not want to keep on pursuing it.
I have also decided that I will do my best to give my heart and soul into what I produce, and actually produce something worth sharing. There is no going back now, and my heart is all in it again. Luckily I passed the test of your endurance, which have to indicate that this is that I want to be doing with my life. Share.
(Thumbnail photo by Martine)