Covid and relationships: Personal growth, heartbreak and knowing Netflix better than yourself

As the dark sky was lit up by fireworks to mark the beginning of 2020, none of us could have expected that the new year would move all our relationships online - that seeing friends and family outside our household would come to be considered a crime - and that we would even be urged to wear a face covering during sex. A year later, even our feel-good rom-coms have replaced their classic storylines with tales of finding love in quarantine. We can kiss goodbye (but only from a distance) meet-cutes taking place in a cozy brewery, on a scenic train ride to Paris or in front of a breathtaking artwork. Now, we are no longer allowed to sit down on a park bench, let alone meet the love of our life on a weekend trip to Hawaii.

There is no denying that building and maintaining relationships, whether platonic or romantic, in lockdown has been tricky. Friend groups, long-term partners and new flings have had to get creative. Game nights on Houseparty, dinner dates via FaceTime and lots of Zoom parties. The state of the world has got us asking questions about what all this means for our relationships: The death of hookup culture? Falling out of touch with friends due to lack of communication? What will one too many days spent in lockdown with the same person lead to?

From Sydney to Glasgow, we asked you about your experience and how your relationships has been impacted by the pandemic. This is what you had to say:

“Yes! I’m a really bad texter n calls give me anxiety so I’ve drifted apart from my friends.”

“Taught me how much more I need to put in to make them work. That I'm not the only one struggling! just bc someone hasn't reached out in a while doesn't mean I shouldn't. Covid has taught me lots about my family, who I didn't see for a whole year, and that maintaining a good relationship with parents and siblings is so so important.”

“Makes you even more hyper focused on your heartbreak.”

“How much we actually need to invest into our relationships when not being able to see them.”

“Hurt my relationship with housemates and friends (too much time with housemates, change of living circumstances across the year, and not seeing friends especially those who moved home to ride out the pandemic).”

“The restrictions weren’t too bad in the summer, so I can actually say I’ve never dated more in my life. Kept covid in mind tho, but I have to admit there’s been a few first dates. Still, it seems to be more difficult to get close to people these days.”

“Dating: ‘no sorry, I can’t hang out. It’s still covid you know’. Perfect for creepy guys!!!”

“Covid has made my relationship with my grandparents DIFFICULT. They’re not too good with technology and because they’re at high-risk I haven’t been able to see them at all the past year or so.”

“It has taught me that I am indeed a person who CAN be in a long distance relationship and not see my boyfriend for a long period of time and that it is still possible to maintain a healthy relationship with lots of communication. In this case, social media and being able to video chat and stay in contact with friends, family and loved ones has been a blessing! It has also taught me that all relationships need to be nurtured and communication whether online or in real life is possible to maintain as long as both parties are willing to put the effort into the relationship.”

“I’ve become less sociable (duh) but even with my housemates. The days blur into one, so I find myself constantly overworking and not really having the energy for much else.”

“I feel like in the first few months of lockdown, we wOULD ALL THROW netflix and zoom parties. I even joined a knitting club with some friends over zoom. But as this pandemic keeps dragging on, I feel like everyone kinda gave up. I think we still all do our best with the cards we have been dealt, but just feeling a bit numb at this point.”

“I work at a nursing home, so people who don’t see as many friends/people the days before we’re hanging out to respect my work and minimise the risk of the virus getting into the nursing home; I like them more and have more respect for them. Those are the ones you wanna keep.”

“If there’s something good to come out of this, it must be chatting with people on Tinder and getting to know them without the pressure of meeting up.”

“Broke up with my partner.. Hope I’m not the only one….”

“The past few months haVE taken a toll on my mental health and I might know Netflix better than I KNOW myself tbh..”

“Still daydreaming about this guy I saw on the tube before covid.. And daydreaming about going to pubs with friends.. And having a reason to wear pants haha..”

“I had been dreading moving back home, but my mum could not have been more supportive. Really helped my mental health when I moved out of dorms over the holidays.”

“I’m over Zoom calls. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for technology and having some sort of interaction to keep me sane but it will never be the same as seeing people irl, end of story. I’d like my old life back now, thank you very much.”

“I haven’t been able to move into my uni dorm room, and I feel like I’m missing out of the whole uni experience:(( I haven’t made any proper friends yet and I’m far too anxious and awkward to go to any online uni events.”

“I feel like I’ve seen people in a new light in regards to respect; how they respect the national and local guidelines and how much respect I have for them now after knowing that. I also feel like I don’t talk to my firends as often anymore, but I also find comfort in knowing I’m not the only one who feels lonely and like they’ve lost touch with their friends.”